It’s a time of celebration. Smoke filled the skies. Ash drifted, covering the earth like snowfall on a splendid winter’s day. The streets flowed with brilliant red liquid tones. Off in the distance, we hear our magnificent factories working for the cause. Just as they do every Fourth of July.
Today we observe our modern Constitution given to us by our contemporary Fathers. They fixed our democracy with a simple eraser. And because of their impeccable character, they kept all the original amendments intact. Even though we never saw the original document, it does not matter. We trust them and them alone. We pledge our allegiance to these fine men of valor.
So on this day, we honor our masters. We arrest those who do not conform to their updated Constitution. We recite the first amendment and remind them they have the right to free speech, which they always agree. But, we tell them, it only provides the right if their speech conforms to the principles of our leaders. Otherwise, as written, it’s considered an act of treason. And carries the penalty of death without trial, as noted in the sixth and seventh amendment.
It’s a shame how this older naive generation tries to mislead us. They dare claim our leaders deceive us. What they fail to realize, our masters never lie. They declare truth like the gods in heaven.
These degenerates speak blasphemous opinions. They leave us no choice but to enforce the eighth amendment. Fine their household. Inflict cruel and unusual punishment to all family members. And force them to watch their loved ones receive their just and due reward.
Once these traitors finish spewing their filthy lies, we slash their vile throats and gaze onward as their blood streams down the mountainside. Filling the streets with beautiful tones of crimson justice. Then as they murmur their last words, we fulfill our allegiance; we throw their worthless corpses into the furnaces. Their treasonous names erased from history. We stand in awe and watch the glorious ash of fairness cover our city.
A delightful remembrance of how our Fathers gave us true freedom. A new life for all with a simple flick of an eraser. An outdated document made magnificent in the eyes of God. May our Fathers live forever in their glory, amen.